Daily Writings by Amanda The Whore
by rapidlydoom
Summary: i'm going to try and write and write a story every day but i might be lax and not do it every single day but it's the thought that counts. most of these stories will be about things that im interested or spend a lot of my time on. there won't be any sexy times, unfortunately, but a lot of boner touching so be prepared.
1. Take A Shower

Arin "Egoraptor" Hanson was chillin' and playing "Mount Your Friends" with the beautiful, Danny Sexbang from Ninja Sex Party. They were extremely high and their dongs were extremely jiggly on the goat. That sentence doesn't make sense if you haven't played "Mount Your Friends" so go and play it on your nearest Playscrotum 5 and witness how gay it is.

While Arin was swinging his schlong on the pyramid he said something interesting:

"Don't you wish your girlfriend as hot like me?" he said in his chocolatey, Morgan Freeman voice. He fluttered his eyelashes like a mule and winked like a chameleon.

Danny brushed Arin's greasy hair off his large forehead and said in his opera singer voice: "I don't have a girlfriend but if In did I would wish she was hot like you." He scratched his chest, "I would wish she looked exactly like you, in fact."

Arin ran out of time to mount and Danny won the elimination round in "Mount Your Friends" for the 50th time today. Arin threw the controller at the TV and it shattered to look like a penis then moved his legs onto Danny's pantless legs.

"This is why I play games with you, dude. You make me feel like a beautiful woman."

Danny looked down at Arin's smelly, toejam-covered feet. He them looked deep into Arin's sleep deprived eyes in a manly-friendship-fueled love, "You are nothing if not a beautiful woman."

Arin blushed like a professional wrestler, "Thank you, sexy disco man."

AND THE N AA LL OF A SUDDDNE they saw Ross enter the room eating Danny's king sized skittles. Danny started to cry and the moment was ruined. 2 b contine?


	2. RubberRaptor

Arin and Ross were hanging out in the grump room because Danny fell asleep because he ate 5 king sized bags of skittles and he had the most wicked sugar crash since the Boston bombings. Suzy went to get some Starbucks because Barry needs energy to edit Game Grumps videos without fucking attacking school children in a blind rage. Barry was too cool to hang with Arin and his amigo Ross.

Ross leaned on Arin while he was playing Pokemon because Ross has been leaning over his 3ds for 3 hours straight, his back was ike a fucking candy cane. Ross needed to straighten his back on Arin's skinny, boney, 20-year-old body. Ross rubbed the crotch of his machoke in Pokemon Amie. Ross was making ugly faces while rubbing the crotch of the machoke. The machoke was horrified. Arin threw his long snake neck over to Ross's shoulder and breathed in Ross's sweat. Arin looked down at the flashing screen and then at Ross's funny faces and felt like he was going to puke.

"Why are you doing that thing with your face? You look like you're taking a shit. Why are you doing a fucking kissy face and putting it into a knot? Why are you rubbing the crotch of the Porkyman? Goddamn it Ross look at me and answer me you piece of shit."

Ross said in his strong, ugly, stupid, nerdy, Lady Gaga voice, "I'm making my machoke happy. My machoke will be in full affection soon. You don't know anything, gosh. You fucking polynigmion." He snorted like a dick, "Oh emmm geeeeeeeeeeeee!"

"Ross I think you insulted me but I can't take you seriously since you've been making funny faces since this game came out in October and I will have a mental image of your dwarf face making the face of Shrek taking a shit and I saw you winking to your crotch pokemon but you can't even fucking wink since your other eye keeps closing when you try and then you make ugly noises. Nerd."

The baby man looked at Arin like a panda cub looking upon his sister being devoured by his mother because the zookeeper forgot to feed your family for the past 3 days. Arin got weirded out by Ross's face because his whole face turned into a panda cub. Arin said in a frightened voice, "Don't worry man, you're still cool."

The baby man wiped the panda off his face and also his panda tears, "Do you really mean it?"

Arin did the moon walk off the couch and onto the carpet, did a spin and pointed his fingers like an Elvis mpersonator pointing at another Elvis impersonator, "I am Arin "egoraptor" Hanson and I never lie about compliments."

Then Barry started breathing fire since he was that thirsty than Suzy in her superwoman costume came and poured iced coffee into Barry's mouth. Barry's thirst was quenched and the Game Grumps were saved once again by the superhero Suzy Hanson.


	3. It's Not Easy Being Green

Amanda was running around in the Pokemon world, panting like a fat man and crying. Her titties hit her face while she was running and her slug that what fucking on fire got conserned. She had 5 eggs in per panties to keep them warm so that they could hatch.

"Where the fuck is my shiny pokemon, I've had these eggs up my cunt for the past hour while I was running why aren't these hatching. Where is my sparkly bird," said the whore as her cunt slowly hard boiled the eggs.

The slug looked up at Amanda and started to cry. Amanda looked at his tears and started screaming, "Why are you crying!? You're on fire you can't even have tears you fucking faggot. Make your tears dry with your fire body you piece of shit."

The slug started crying harder and Amanda tried to beat it up by sitting on it but when her ass touched the slug her ass caught on fire since the Pokemon was fucking made of fire. As the fire humped her butt they came all over the Pokemon eggs and they got fertiled and they soon hatched inside of her pusspuss and how she has 5 birds in her cunt and the fire is still fucking her.

The slug continued to cry and cry like the faggot he is and looked into the camera like he's in the office and said in his sad, slug voice, "The things I do for love."


	4. Stop Ticktocking Yourself Off nsfw

Salad Fingers was looking off into the distance with Hubert Jason Cumberdale on his dick. He felt as if there's going to be some nsfw shit and the autor doesn't want to change the rating of the fanfiction so here's an M warning for bestiality, acousticophilia, agrexophilia, alphmegamia, Algalagnia, Anasteemaphilia, Autonephioplia, Autoassassinophilia, Bigpenisophilia, Choreophilia, Coprolalia, Coulrophilia, Dysmorphophilia, Ecouteurism, Erotographomania, Fisting, Formicophilia, Frotteurism, Gerontophilia, Harpaxophilia, Thlipsosis Timophilia Trichophilia Troilism Tripsolagnophilia Urtication Vaccinophilia Vicarphilia Vincilagnia Vorarephilia Voyeurism Xenophilia Zelophilia Zwischenstufe , acousticophilia, agrexophilia, alphmegamia, Algalagnia, Anasteemaphilia, Autonephioplia, Autoassassinophilia, Bigpenisophilia, Choreophilia, Coprolalia, Coulrophilia, Dysmorphophilia, Ecouteurism, Erotographomania, Fisting, Formicophilia, Frotteurism, Gerontophilia, Harpaxophilia, Thlipsosis Timophilia Trichophilia Troilism Tripsolagnophilia Urtication Vaccinophilia Vicarphilia Vincilagnia Vorarephilia Voyeurism Xenophilia Zelophilia Zwischenstufe , acousticophilia, agrexophilia, alphmegamia, Algalagnia, Anasteemaphilia, Autonephioplia, Autoassassinophilia, Bigpenisophilia, Choreophilia, Coprolalia, Coulrophilia, Dysmorphophilia, Ecouteurism, Erotographomania, Fisting, Formicophilia, Frotteurism, Gerontophilia, Harpaxophilia, Thlipsosis Timophilia Trichophilia Troilism Tripsolagnophilia Urtication Vaccinophilia Vicarphilia Vincilagnia Vorarephilia Voyeurism Xenophilia Zelophilia Zwischenstufe , acousticophilia, agrexophilia, alphmegamia, Algalagnia, Anasteemaphilia, Autonephioplia, Autoassassinophilia, Bigpenisophilia, Choreophilia, Coprolalia, Coulrophilia, Dysmorphophilia, Ecouteurism, Erotographomania, Fisting, Formicophilia, Frotteurism, Gerontophilia, Harpaxophilia, Thlipsosis Timophilia Trichophilia Troilism Tripsolagnophilia Urtication Vaccinophilia Vicarphilia Vincilagnia Vorarephilia and whhhhhhhh oooooooooooooooooooooooohaooooooooopwwwwwwphilia.

Notebook and clock were hanging out and doing their own thing. Yeah Notebook draw those peepees on your pages. Yeah take that cock. The clock was making moaning clock songs like tick tock tick tock give me cock.

The Notebook was starting to get a weird paper boner while drawing peepees and listening to the clock's tick cocks. In fact the paper boner was one of the peepees he just drew. The notebook started to fap his paper penis right in front of the clock like he fears no god. The clock looked at the notebook but didn't stop tick cocking since energizer batteries last a long time. The clock stared at the notebook jacking off his paper penis in horror, that penis was just drawn why is he jacking it off. It's like jacking off a baby why is the notebook jacking off his newborn penis?

"There is a time and place for everything and don't jack off to my tick cocking I have self-confidence issues with my tick cocks. I have self-confidence issues and I am a clock," tick cocked the clock.

The notebook continued to jack himself off. He was jacking so fast like a merry-go-round. Jacking so fast like a merry-go-round, "Whoa there friend you might need to slow down and stop talking to me like you own the streets. Bitch the crow steals your lunch money every morning don't talk to me like like you hear the beat."

The clocked looked at the notebook with his clock face and tightened his bow tie like a rich boy who has no class at all. He got a lint roller and rolled the lint off his pants. He took off his bow and ironed it on an ironing board then put it back on. He was having fun doing this and time goes fast when you're having fun so the notebook was really close to busting a nut.

Clock looked at the peepee and then threw a fish on it and the fish's mouth went inside the paper and sucked the notebook off in a 3D thing. The notebook came and then the fish flew out of the paper but the notebook was still cumming and the notebook came all over the notebook.

"Now let's all agree," said the notebook, "To never be hella gay again."


	5. Scout Has Some Lunch

It was a beautiful day in the middle of the Arizona desert. Scout of course took the opportunity to go nude since a guy like him can't get nude in the base without people looking at his huge and glorious schwang. He's not wearing sunscreen today neither he's gonna get sun burnt inside and out. In about an hour he's gonna become a fried egg.

The sniper walked by going to his camper but then backed up and looked at sniper. Sniper scratched his head and said, "Uh, mate. Why are you on the floor, in the nude?"

"I don't tell you how to live your life. You make a living off of shootin' people's heads off. I also do that too. We're like brothers or something. Brothers who fight for a shared cause. We're kinda like Sailor Moon or some shit but instead of the dancin' and the planets we have the guns and the conga lines. It's kinda like, spritual. We're kinda alike you know? Like If I see an enemy sniper just scopin' in on god knows what, there's no enemies over there I don't got any idea what he's doin'. So I go over there and just hit him with my bat a few times and if he ain't dead I just run fast away from there. You, you're a fast bastard. You can't run from anything. You gotta live with your decisions. You scope in on a heavy when there's obviously Spy behind you. Why would the medic have that syringe gun at any time? Makes no sense to me," said the Scout.

"That was a nice talk, ya smart-mouthed vermon," Sniper said and he sped walked to his camper.

The Engineer comes over next with some freshly baked apple pie and some meatloaf, "Hey Scout. You're been outside for an awfully long time. How about you come on over back to base and have a nice dinner with the rest of the team? We got a new shipment of Bonk in the fridge for ya. So what do you say?"

"Holy shit, I love meatloaf. It's hard for me to eat it though without ketchup though. Like meatloaf can't not be dry. You can cook the damn thing in water and when you take it out it's gonna be dryer than my fresh panties from the drier. Like, meatloaf is on a whole 'nother dimension all together. On a whole 'nother plane. It's like, Toto we aren't in Kansas anymore we're in the dry as hell desert with no ketchup only salt and salt isn't enough for a good tasting meatloaf. Wait, shit man is that apple pie? I freakin' love apple pies. My mom used to make them all the time, I usually didn't get to eat it though since my brothers got to it before I could even have a chance but they were cheatin' anyways. They were spawn camping for that apple pie. They see the pie come out of the oven and they just devour it. They have like a shit ton of burns on their mouths but I wish I got more burns in my mouth from having an all-out brawl for an apple pie," said the Scout.

"Well if it will shut your yap then have the food." The Engineer angrily and gently threw the food on Scout's tummy and he starts strutting away.

The scout takes a bit of the gooey apple goodness and starts yelling like a piss baby, "THIS APPLE PIE AIN'T HOT, YA MORON I CAN'T BURN MY MOUTH TO DEATH ON THIS. AND THIS MEAT LOAF IS JUICY. IT'S SO JUICY. HOW DO YOU MAKE MEATLOAF THIS JUICY. WAIT OH WHIT THIS IS BRISKET ISN'T IT. THIS ISN'T NO GODDAMN FUCKING MOAT LOAF. THIS PIE IS STILL FUCKING COLD. WHY WOULD PIE HAVE THE DECENCY TO GET COLD IN THE MIDDLE A THE ARIZONA DESERT. WHAT AM I GONNA DO, PUT IT IN THE SUN AND WAIT FOR IT TO BOIL?," yelled the Scout while crying because he saw a rainbow.

He then put the pie in the sun and when it was cooked he burned his mouth on it and the classes all lived happily ever after.


End file.
